Love, Courage, Perseverance

Love, marriage, and raising a child (or children) can be a daunting experience. I came from a family of 7 siblings, and not a day of peace when my mom raised us. As a twice immigrant to the U.S., the adjustments and sacrifices she made to overcome languages, culture, and economics disadvantages are no easy tasks, but she always knew her duty is to her family and her children. As with most immigrant families, to “make it” in the new homeland pains aplenty and adjustments don’t come easy. My father and oldest brothers work low-wage jobs while money was never enough to go around, but through it all we were happy and well-educated.

Not everyone lives like us, there are plenty of people who are much better off than us. We envy and wish to be just like them while I was growing up, but mom always said is to each its own they have a set of their own problems as we do ours. Do not envy others when you know nothing about them. What we need to focus on is our own life, only through self-confidence, the courage that born out of it, and perseverance that came out of courage could we get on with the challenges lay ahead of us. We have migrated from the east coast of U.S. to the west coast in the early ’80 and mom was right life did seem to take on a better turn with the move. For those who are nomads searching for greener pasture, internal displacement could be a blessing in disguise, sort of “shake” things up a bit.

Nevertheless, it comes with a price when family ties are cut but new support system have not built to fill the void, it will take time so consider carefully the pro and cons before deciding. Our family made the move because of overcrowding and festering crimes in the inner city in late ’70. My mom calmed us one by one to facility the jump to a strange place at a strange time but somehow it all work out. Clearly a lot of love and a little empathy won the day. It will work for you regardless of your social status if you would keep an open mind about changes and not caught in the grinds of the day. Internalizing conflict and self-doubt eat away your energy but produces nothing, so avoid it as much as possible. The other side of coin, love can’t stand along without action. Love and take actions to fight for what you believe usually ensure love work out for the best in the end.

We are all along in this world

The troubles of the world often caught up to us, especially after a relaxing vacation or breaks. Would you be able to love your life and people you care about, in the middle of a turbulence? More often time we are bondage by other considerations, like, job/career, financial, beliefs and taboos, or uncertainty of support from our spouse. It is important to give yourselves time for things to calm down. Only when the river in your heart flows at the speed of the flow of current events would you be able to hear that little voice in your heart and what it is trying to tell you. Disengage from conflict is often not desirable and difficult but it is not impossible, certainly we need to work on it but doable.

Acknowledged your difficulties and seek out support is important! Only when you passed the 5-stages (anger, denial, depression, resistance, acceptance) of grief, would you be able to confront what’s bothering you and look at the problem in a new light (perception). Don’t be embarrassed about how you feel, we all went through the stages. Knowing someone or something that can pull you out of quack mire is absolutely necessary if you are lucky to find them. Hopefully, Changingmindmom can be of help to be that support you need right now.